Moon_sparksdragon

2012-01-25T22:52:00.000+13:00

Heh. A few people have told me my favourite ex was way better for me than anyone else and I should wait for a guy like him.

But he's moved on and nothing can happen and I don't know when the timing will be right or IF there IS another guy like him. I do want commitment in dating. I told HWSNBNITB to think about the future because I don't want to waste my time. If he goes back into studying and does an easy Tesol course, I would wait for him and we could go to Korea together and see the world. And if he wanted to go to Hong Kong for his martial arts, then we could go there too as long as I'm earning money and travelling. If he just works and gets high, then fuck that and I think I'm being fair when I say I definitely just want to be friends.

Ideas

2012-01-23T18:45:00.001+13:00

I always post things to make me all excited about the future. This is my latest future plan :P

Ok ok, ok.. so.. I am going to try to get a job in Korea after I finish the Celta course (and if I fail I'll just do the Tesol course but I've never failed a course I've tried hard in). I will work for 2 years. I'll see if there's a way I can get a bunny and if I can donate it to the class or someone if I move away or if I can take it with me. If not.. :( loneliness. I will just have to go for runs, write in my spare time and meet people and learn Korean.
Then! (Of course I'll try visit New Zealand) I should have some money behind me to risk living in Japan for a month and try to get a job. If I don't, it could just be a month holiday, whatever. Then.. I will go to Europe and try to find a job as an English teacher. Hopefully in Germany because I love Germans (well, the ones that have visited New Zealand) and all their fairy tale stuff and houses and castles. Then.. sometime in that year I'll travel Europe. Go see Italy and France etc xD maybe even Sweden? Then I will decide where I should live and get a bunny, a kitten and a puppy. Should I live in Australia and become a high school teacher or should I stay in Europe?
I hope Korea doesn't reject me otherwise that'll ruin all my plans!

2012-01-23T15:11:00.001+13:00

I made it. How to here

2012-01-21T23:33:00.001+13:00

Source here

2012-01-21T23:05:00.000+13:00

I'm single again. It's a good and bad thing. I just know I want a loving relationship one day where I can be close to someone and snuggle etc. I see people in cute couple photos and that's what I want.
I hate being single but I hate being with the wrong guy more.

2012-01-20T14:51:00.001+13:00

I've been feeling a bit :( lately. Yesterday's news about not getting an interview with the Jet Programme was disappointing. I love Japan and it's a dream of mine to live there and see Japanese everywhere. I get excited going into an Asian shop and reading the hiragana, katakana and some of the kanji. But oh well, that is life. At least my friend got an interview.

Another :( thing is I don't feel me and my boyfriend have a future together. I've always felt this way I guess. I just thought, because we were getting used to each other, maybe he'd want the same things as me. Nah, at least I gave the relationship a go. We have enjoyed each other's company but we're different. He doesn't really have a goal, isn't really into affection, gets irritated easily, wants to stay in Christchurch and settle down; I have a goal of travelling the world, I love affection, I annoy him and I want to go to Korea now.

So mew. I reckon we'll stay friends and hopefully I can still see Yuki. Atm we're thinking about the relationship but I don't see it working.

My friend is helping me get a job in Korea and she said I'll get shitloads with the degree and teaching qualification xD and you'll have money leftover even after travelling, eating out and partying. Korean is so foreign to me though. But oh well, may as well learn another language :)

Yuki

2012-01-19T23:35:00.002+13:00

My HWMNBNITB’s cat (he’d be pissed if I started owning it >.> )

She’s usually quite a happy kitty. Although, we went to the vet. She hissed at the nurse but warmed up after a while. She hissed when she was getting weighed and the nurse explained she can smell other cats. The vet came in, she hissed when he felt her stomach, took her heartbeat etc. He said she looks healthy and he normally doesn’t get unfriendly kittens (I got a bit offended. She’s at the vet! Of course she’s unfriendly but she’s a very friendly kitten overall. I come into the door and she runs to you and loves being snuggled). The nurse told me she’ll grow into a big cat because she’s got long legs. She’s healthy. So, then it was time to get the vaccination. She hissed and tried to crawl away and meowed and growled and oh no. I held her and she started scratching away. I have scratches on my finger that started bleeding :( .. I felt sorry for her. The nurse had to take her and she was looking at me and meowing and I kept saying “It’s ok, it’s ok Yuki” and she looked at me like “Traitor! How could you let this happen to me!” Eventually she ran away to me and I gave her lots of cuddles. She cried on the way back to her house. I played with her a little, then gave her another cuddle and then she hissed because she couldn’t see my face, and then took a swipe at me. It’s not as bad as the finger, but I have scratch marks on my face courtesy to Yuki. Oh well, I put her down and she came back to me purring and rubbing against me -__- but then we played for a while. I took lots of photos. She’s happy again.

~~Sometimes I wonder if~~ I love her ~~more than my boyfriend~~

2012-01-19T21:46:00.001+13:00

Didn't get into the Jet Programme :(

About Alice

2012-01-19T00:16:00.001+13:00

I love Alice in Wonderland.

I want to go to this Alice in Wonderland themed restaurant in Tokyo one day. If I get into the Jet Programme, then this year!

And if you've ever wondered how Alice in Wonderland is about Math, this site answers it.

“BUTTERFLIES CAN’T SEE THEIR WINGS. THEY CAN’T SEE HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE, BUT EVERYONE ELSE CAN. PEOPLE ARE LIKE THAT.”

2012-01-18T21:28:00.001+13:00

More craft

2012-01-10T23:51:00.001+13:00

Before

After.

I added the black to give it an edge and make it fit (bought the skirt online)

More Craft

2012-01-05T01:39:00.000+13:00

Inspired by this site I should have used Stencil because my Totoro looks off. Oh well. I also added the bow.

Before

After. Bow inspired by this site .. I had to sew because the satin frayed easily. So it was a little difficult but worth it.

Earthquake proofing my room

2012-01-03T22:17:00.000+13:00

My flatmate sold her desk. She forgot she was selling it and I was borrowing it. So... the desk was in between the bookshelf and bed, so it blocked the bookshelf.

Without the desk, if there's a big earthquake, the bookshelf COULD topple on my bed.

This was my brother's room after the September 7 quake. If my brother hadn't jumped out of bed, he'd be dead =/ (TV is heavy and landed where his head was) luckily he's fine.

The reason my room was a mess yesterday. I went to bed at 3am. This was inspired by this site

I didn't have a hot glue gun so I had to use thick cellotape.

Now it is Earthquake safe (bookshelf on its side)

It is cluttered though T_T but oh well...

2012-01-02T21:50:00.000+13:00

You know you're from Christchurch link

I like "You know you're from Christchurch when 2.0 + 2.0 = ?" but that's off facebook, not the site.
7.0 warning for us T_T *sighs* link
I don't think the world is going to end (like my bf thinks). I think it was just due for earthquakes. Japan, yeh it's really sad what happened BUT... it's happened before. What about the Kobe disaster in 1940? (I think it was around that time). The more people in this world, the more people will die. It doesn't mean the world's ending. At least, I don't think the world's going to end suddenly. If it does it'll be a gradual thing. It isn't a movie.

MY 2011

2011-12-31T15:46:00.004+13:00

2011 was such a big year.

FIRST ROAD TRIP EVER To Matai Valley in Nelson. It was an amazing roadtrip. PUPPIES when they were still small. Now they are full grown Maltese. HAMNER SPRINGS TRIP with my boyfriend at the time. Amazing experience. Trekked for 3 hours. Romantic time of my life. EARTHQUAKE that killed 182 people including Jaime Gilbert and Siwen Huo R.I.P :’( It was devastating. Lots of buildings destroyed including Christchurch’s iconic Cathedral church. The quake fucked up half of Christchurch and we weren’t allowed to flush toilets or drink tap water. The east ended up with the sewage and silt :( .The break up with a good friend. I got too much and he was working 80 hours a week. I got too much because of relapse of DEPRESSION. That was the biggest thing of this year. I didn’t want to go through all this again. I just wanted it all to end. But I went on medication for the first time and it’s made all the difference. It’s made the battle easier. I’ve learnt I have to keep things busy. Spend time with people who make me happy, baking and doing things craft related is therapeutic. Although reading is a great love of mine, sometimes it’s not enough (have ended up countless times just lying in bed for days when reading was meant to be the distraction). 2 months of counselling. One thing I’ve learnt is people do not understand depression. I got told “Snap out of it” “Why do you need attention. Trying to kill yourself is attention seeking. You do know that when you die that’s just it right? You don’t get the attention” O_o;; “Just don’t think negatively” a lot and I know I sort of just have to help myself. My biggest support was actually my ex (even after we broke up, which is why I think he’s amazing) and then the friends who have known me for years. ANYWAY, I discovered Yahagi Patisserie (a beautiful delicious Japanese bakery), I started a scrapbook EARTHQUAKE AFTERSHOCK I bought whatever clothes I felt like. I had to quit Pak’nsave (but that was in September when I realized it was costing my happiness). On my Birthday, I had Denny’s with the people I love. I got spoiled. I tried curly fries for the first time (delicious). I got my favourite necklace (Alice in Wonderland). I bought a car and learnt how to drive a manual and got my restricted license. It was my biggest achievement because it was hard to get practice in and my car is temperamental (still love the thing though). Driving is also therapeutic. EARTHQUAKE AFTERSHOCK. I did ADRENALINE FOREST Amazing! It was scary when you got to level 5 and had to walk across a rope between the tops of two thin trees… ARGH! I couldn’t do level 6 but maybe next time. FLATCATS Football and Nancy - both the most passive cats ever. They received a lot of snuggles. SNOW DAY! Because Christchurch isn’t used to snow, when there was a snow fall we were all stationary. People who tried to drive crashed. But it was beautiful as! It hasn’t snowed for years. I learnt to make pumpkin soup and SUPER MARIO MUSHROOM CUPCAKES, which were a hit. AKAROA DAY TRIP with amazing people. Trying a JAPANESE ICE CREAM delicious. JAPANESE CLASS. Probably kept me going throughout the year. I learnt so much and had so much fun although it was challenging. EARTHQUAKE AFTERSHOCK Tried a kimono and sat through a tea ceremony. ACTUALLY GETTING TUMBLR best thing ever. Spend a lot of time on Tumblr. Discovering NAME OF THE WIND. GAME OF THRONES. TRUE BLOOD. SCRUBS. TRIGUN. DURARARA. Halloween Party. Wendy’s dinner dash. Watching Bird Babies grow :P (chicks). Meeting REALLY NICE JAPANESE PEOPLE and becoming their friend. QUITTING PAK’NSAVE AFTER 7 YEARS IN TOTAL. Am now so broke I can’t afford to renew my rego and warrant and I am $400 in debt (why? I owe the dentist $200 and have a year to pay it back. I also owe a friend $200 because I didn’t get the benefit for a week and then had to pay another week for the last flat -> also moved out this year). Will need to job hunt. EARTHQUAKE AFTERSHOCK. Started dating a weirdo that likes to wear a mask while driving. He is different from me and half the time at the start I hated him. Didn’t know why I was with him. Now it’s pretty nice and smooth and he’s a lot more affectionate and caring. He got a kitten called YUKI and I love her. Making my first ever Pavlova. Making a Christmas pavlova. EARTHQUAKE AFTERSHOCK. I am now into altering my clothes. I want to make a mini skirt. SUMMER

I hope next year is a better year for you and me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

2011-12-30T21:18:00.000+13:00

I think what I might do one day is... get a sewing machine. Go to sewing machine classes. Then.. I will go to fabric shops and make my own clothes mwhahhaha. I just bought a piece of fabric to make a sailor style collar. But! There should be enough to attempt a ruffle skirt too! Yay xD

More DIY

2011-12-29T17:28:00.001+13:00

Before

After. I learnt how to make collars from this site. I also cut off the sleeves

My bf was looking for a TV to buy and I got bored and was craving an ice cold energy drink. Then I remembered I still had a $10 Warehouse voucher!! xD it made my day because I went into the Warehouse looking to buy a drink for me and my bf, and I spotted this tin! $4.50 from $9 xD It is now my chocolate tin :D <3

DIY clothing modification

2011-12-27T12:16:00.001+13:00

These clothes, i have to force myself to wear. But after modifying them, I don't have to force myself anymore xD

I just cut off the sleeves of this top and added red bands using cord ribbon.

Alice in Wonderland tank. I only added a little bow. But I think it's way cuter.

Tshirt before

Tshirt after

I used buttons x 3 (the bow has a button in the middle) a bow you can make yourself, scissors and I hand sewed the straps. I had to use another top for the straps because this T shirt is small and i didn't want to cut the bottom of the top. If you have a longer top it works though. Inspired by this site

Christmas

2011-12-26T19:20:00.002+13:00

I painted this for my friend but it didn’t come out quite how I imagined it would. Oh well, she loves it and that’s the main thing. I told her I would paint her a picture of a carrot for her Birthday. A year later i finally get around to doing it. (I always knew the plan was to just include a carrot and make it suit her).

I spent Christmas with my boyfriend’s family (about 12 people came)

I made this for Christmas and I think it was a hit. The first pav I made went flat. But the 2nd and 3rd (this one) turned out fine. It’s all in the beating (of the egg) ;)

I also messed up the icing but it still turned out alright.

I also made brownies and Oreo truffles (recipe) the truffles were a hit.

Kitty cat with her new present

We did secret Santa. I reckon it turned out good because everyone was happy with what they got. I didn’t see a present someone wouldn’t like.

This is what I got for Christmas. I’m pretty happy about this xD can’t wait to read.

It was a great Christmas. There’s a really cute pic of kitty cat and my boyfriend but I’m not allowed to say his name or post pictures of him on facebook/blogs T_T *sighs* but trust me, the pic is cute.

Hope you all had a good Christmas too :)

Craft ideas

2011-12-22T14:27:00.001+13:00

Link to original

New Kitty

2011-12-18T19:20:00.000+13:00

She climbed up my boyfriend's leg! Notice how she's a bit stripey. Cool ai?

My boyfriend had a cat that went missing pretty much when we got together. He saw a kitty at a petshop that looked a bit like his cat Fubuki, and it was playing with a ball like his cat used to. A few days later, he and his dad were talking and saying how they could hear Fubuki (means blizzard in Japanese I think) meowing and were going to buy him (the reincarnation). So I went with him and got this kitty. She's a girl and apparently beats all the other kittens up. She's called Yuki but he might change her name (Yuki means snow in Japanese).

She's really energetic and I love her a lot. She's got white socks xD she purrs a lot and is quite a happy kitty. She likes exploring.

On another note me and my boyfriend are a lot better now. I actually like our relationship and we haven't really had problems lately. I think it's because we know how each other work a little more. He's way more affectionate and we're not a secret anymore.

I went window shopping today and found 3 clothes I really wanted to buy (a pair of lacey black shorts with a bow in front, a white tank top with a black bird and the words "fly away with me" and this short blue dress that fit me really well and flattered me >_< I hate being poor!)

P.S Blogspot's upped the game. This blog entry was easy!

2011-11-30T12:51:00.003+13:00

I bitched so much about him to quite a few people, expecting him to not change. But 5 days of not seeing him, when I went to talk to him he was different and it made him not want to be without me. So I told him how he was such a dick and put down all my rules, like how if he wants to stay with me we have to be official and he has to meet my friends and he has to accept me as I am and actually like me etc etc and he went "ok." and said he needed to hear all that. He was really good to me yesterday and met two of my friends and was good. And he actually checked up on how I was feeling (even though yesterday, for once he didn't really need to). Guess it's not over until it's actually over.

Playing around with my hair

2011-11-27T14:15:00.003+13:00

2011-11-26T21:13:00.002+13:00

How on Earth could they kill off Nick on the tv series "Secret Circle" wtf?? He's important in the book!

2011-11-26T10:53:00.001+13:00

I did alright in the Japanese final test afterall. It wasn't my best result but still, it wasn't too bad overall. My average for the year was A- and I'm happy with that.

2011-11-26T10:51:00.001+13:00

2011-11-25T20:25:00.000+13:00

A lot link

2011-11-25T20:15:00.002+13:00

Lunch at Samurai Bowls

2011-11-25T14:36:00.006+13:00

Helen

Helen's meal

My meal thanks to Helen. It was soooo good but very filling

Me and Helen

Minus Jono, the senseis xD

Di, Jisoo and Rangima

Jisoo, Rangima, Yoko sensei, Henk sensei, me, Helen and Jono. Di and Jamie are hiding

2011-11-24T18:39:00.002+13:00

Birdies

2011-11-24T18:37:00.003+13:00

4 days ago

And after realizing I'm not their mum or dad

2011-11-23T13:04:00.000+13:00

2011-11-23T12:56:00.005+13:00

I have a lot to learn. I have to not think so much. I have to not be so sensitive. I have to not be childish (like walk off if he doesn't want to be hugged). But.. is it worth being with someone who doesn't have feelings for you? I can I do that? Is it worth it to take away the loneliness. No. It hurts and when I have bad days, and know that my boyfriend doesn't have soft feelings for me it hurts a lot more. So no, I've got to grow balls because loneliness is better than dating a boy with no love left in him. It is so confusing. Sometimes I think it can work and other times I think it can't. Nah

2011-11-21T22:03:00.001+13:00

*stares at bracelet* it was kind of cute that even though we had broken up, he carried that around with him and when we decided we’d take it slow, he gave it to me and admitted he had bought it for me before we broke up. I also like how today I told him how he irks me (he’s a difficult person) and I could tell he had listened. I’m not sure how long that’ll last but I know he wants to try. It sounds terrible but I just don’t think I can go through another break up. Things have been fine lately anyways. I don’t see us breaking up again any time soon. I went to the pet store today and looked at birds. <3_<3 .. ok I want birds! So! I just had this wave of lust? .. I want four birds, a kitten, a puppy and a rabbit. ONE DAY! I will have them and bring them up and I can’t wait!! *dreams* I will have all those pets after I travel.

Contrast to last post

2011-11-16T20:50:00.002+13:00

It's really mixed up and I can't be bothered explaining but basically we're taking it slow this time and I'm very serious about being my own person and making my life go forward anyway.

So I've upped my dosage on medication because 5/10 for being the average is better than 2/10 but not quite good enough. So.. but yesterday was such a good day. I had an amazing night and I was lying in bed and I felt really happy. Like, I don't think I've genuinely ever felt this happy. I found things funny, I was happy I had finished and sent my Jet Programme application. I did get down earlier bowt spending my rent on food (but it's sorted now, I can JUST pay it) but I have food! I have eggs and milk and chocolate and vegetables and cheese. I have clothes I love like that bunny jumper (which isn't very warm without thermals but still!). I'm in a nice place. So yeh it was just really nice and it was warm outside because it's a spring-summer night. *sighs* it's not like I'm always like that but to be able to be that happy.. trippy ai

2011-11-14T15:39:00.002+13:00

Heart feels heavy today. I just keep thinking without meaning to "Why didn't he like me? What's wrong with me? Aren't I good enough?"

That's it. I'm swearing off men who are called Nicholas. It never works out for me. That name is cursed. Seriously, exact same story

2011-11-14T14:44:00.002+13:00

Studying + Mother (energy drink) + Bunny Jumper =

2011-11-13T17:30:00.005+13:00

So what's new?

* Studying for the test coming up.. the last Japanese test for this year :O

* Applying for the Jet Programme
If I don't get in because of the depression, I'll just try for Korea and maybe omit. I don't think I'm that affected by it now.

* Boyfriend of 1 month and a half? Anyway, I'm newly single again. I wasn't really over the guy before him (1 year relationship with an amazing person) but I started to get into that guy and it got emotional and I got hurt and arrrghh. But that guy made it more real for me that I need to be single for a few years. I hate being single at times... like really hate it. As in, REALLY hate it! The no hugging and no talking to someone and having someone special to... *coughs* >.> but I know it's good for me to pull myself together first.

* Reading "Game of Thrones" STILL!! Over halfway

* Finished season 3 of Vampire Diaries T_T

* Being super poor sucks >_<" Struggling atm. Had to pay 1 and a half weeks more rent (in my opinion) than I needed too so now I can't pay for car registration. And still haven't got my bond back so I am super poor and driving an illegal car..

* Had 2 fillings, one more to go. Might need to pull one of the filling teeth out cuz I can't really use it still (means the decays gone to the gum hence the pain)

* What the hell am I going to do for a month and a half (after course finishes)??

* Loving the warm weather

* The place I'm in now is great and warm and in January the couple might be getting a kitten xD

Thinking

2011-11-13T17:26:00.002+13:00

I think I should just blog twice. Because when I blog in Tumblr, I can't find diary entries. So I should just double it. Tumblr - pictures and things I liked + blogging Blogspot - Just blog entries

2011-08-10T23:25:00.003+12:00

I am trying out tumblr. It's a bit hard to personalize it >_<" but at least it'll be easier to do the "post picture via" thing and have a link to the source. Tumblr site

Elephant park

2011-08-10T20:07:00.005+12:00

YiLin's moving to Auckland. I think that's amazing. I would move out of Christchurch if I could too :D .. (YiLin took the first 4 pics)

We watched Norwegian Wood with Kitty yesterday and... -__- tsk. They summarized the book! Missed out a lot imo.

Oh well.

So me and Yi had bubble cup at the Elephant Park aka Bishopdale park.

I always look through Yi's journals because she's so creative!! So I got inspired and bought Alphabet stamps xD .. I want to do more creative things :D

..Hmmmm.. I'm also thinking I should get a tumblr so I can link all the pictures I post that weren't taken by me but were taken from a site. It's just this has been my blog for years and it's my blog! And if I get a tumblr I feel this site is a waste. I like to post pictures but I also like to blog.

2011-08-10T20:07:00.001+12:00

Bento ideas

2011-08-08T18:25:00.004+12:00

I'm trying to come up with lunch ideas because I get bored of my lunches, and I found all these pictures online:

2011-08-08T16:18:00.002+12:00

2011-08-08T16:13:00.001+12:00

*shudders* I have no idea what the hell I'd do if I saw this in real life

2011-08-08T15:56:00.002+12:00

Animal cruelty makes me sick. The guys that killed 23 seals -__-" I want to punch them over and over again and hit them with a stick or something. Or that Filipino chic (not in NZ) cut the ears of rabbits when they're alive and set them on fire and cut up other animals until some vomited their own organs O_o;; is that even possible? wtf? I can't stand thinking about it

2011-08-08T15:21:00.002+12:00

*just came back from a drive* I don't need to drive every day I don't need to drive everyday...

(It's my latest addiction)

2011-08-07T17:46:00.002+12:00

*reads the answers to yes or no questions* ahhh I hate getting those posts "such and such has just answered a question about you!"

I found it funny that people answered no to me ever kissing a girl, or hitting on a girl >.> and speeding (well... I think everyone goes over 50 in chch but I'm trying not to. The Frasers still call me a "Speeddemon"). "Do you think Ceiridwen has ever failed a test" "No" well... actually.. but not for something I cared about. "Does Ceiridwen have a funny looking nose" "Yes" D: ... i think I do too but still. "Do you think Ceiridwen has had a crush on you?" I'm curious to who answered yes to that O_o;; In my whole friends list, I think I've only had a crush on like, 4 people. 2 are now ex boyfriends who'll never do that question thing I think. And like the other 2 wouldn't do it either. I'm glad no one thinks I should gain or lose weight (I still personally think i should lose some).

2011-08-07T17:38:00.002+12:00

If I could change one thing about myself it would be how obsessive I can get. I hate it! Am I that bored??? -__-

2011-08-07T12:35:00.001+12:00

Plans!!

2011-08-06T23:35:00.004+12:00

My problem is I plan and get excited, but when it comes to actually doing the plans.. it doesn't actually happen lol.

Plans for tomorrow:

* Pick up Kristal and drop her at Courtney's so she can get her car (didn't want her drink driving but wanted her to drink tonight... well, it's more of an excuse for me to drive. I love driving and the changing gears and the turning corners and the radio)

* Do some Japanese study/revision because it's overdue

* Start Wendy's painting even though I suck at painting.

* Do laundry

* Read some "Name of the Wind"

* Watch "Battle Royale" "Phantom of the Opera" and "Thelma and Louise" (seen neither and doubt I'll watch all 3 but it can be on my list too)

* Plan how I am going to do the Alice in Wonderland part of my scrapbook (I bought a book for $2 just for this!)

Plans for next week:

* Start the jogging thing AGAIN now that there's no snow (I really wish I could just join the gym. It's always the same temperature there and I don't really stop jogging when I'm on the treadmill but I have a bad habit of it outside. I think it's because there's a timer)

* Only eating one bad thing a day next week

* Study harder

* Finish "Name of the Wind" or at least read half of it

* Watch more "Chrono Crusade" "True Blood" "Scrubs"

* See Kitty

* Pay Lars back the $60 (I suck!!!!) and get my hair thinned out and get some cheap shoes and $2 red-pink lipstick (I tried on my friend's and she got it from the $2 shop so...)

* Finish the painting and the scrapbook page

* Plan how the hell I am going to do the next chapter of Red Rose, White Rose (my problem is I know how the story goes and the scenes I have are strong in my head but I don't know the bits in between or how to connect them or make it flow and it's always been my problem).

* Look for another part-time job before I go insane

2011-08-06T23:30:00.004+12:00

2011-08-06T22:23:00.002+12:00

Today me and my friends were talking for hours in the spa pool. It was nice but I was the only single one there and they kept talking about their boyfriends. I miss my ex so much. But yeh the thing I have to remember is that when we were together I missed him a lot too (cuz I didn't really get to see him). I guess I did used to have breaks from missing him.. but it was better for us to break up. Still -__-" all the cute things he used to do etc :( they talked about sleeping and snuggling and that's probably the hardest.

Anyway, it was a great night with pizza and doughnuts. They're going to make me drink next time and crash at theirs lol.

2011-08-05T14:33:00.001+12:00

Finds it amusing work would prefer me to wear a plaster over my nose stud than just have the nose stud (the plaster is soooo obvious whereas the stud isn't)

2011-08-05T14:18:00.003+12:00

I love Jiminy Cricket. He casually reads "He went looking for you and was swallowed by a whale" "Swallowed by a whale?" "Yeh, a-a... A whale?!?!"

2011-08-04T16:59:00.001+12:00

2011-08-04T15:39:00.001+12:00

Methinks the translations are bs.

Everyone's been asking the car of my name so....

2011-08-03T22:35:00.004+12:00

I'm naming my car Chinky because I'm reading "The Wishing-Chair Again" (Enid Blyton.... *was googling the Faraway series* HEY! I didn't know she was the creator of Noddy!!! Ok I did grow up with her after all >.> wow) Aaaanyway, and there's a pixie called Chinky and my car is noisy and makes chinky noises. Haha, when I drive with people with new cars, they always think I'm speeding because of the sounds. Ok ok so I did used to drive above 50ks in a 50k zone.. but still. I try not to speed now. It's amazing! I wanted to drive and get my friend chocolate but Countdown's too close, so I drove to Riccarton to get tissues then went the long way to Northlands and got chocolate there and then went the long way home ^^ and then I drove to my friend's xD

2011-08-03T15:00:00.004+12:00

I wish strawberries cost $1.67. I'd eat them every day. But yeh I also don't understand why people eat takeaways on a daily basis. For me, I buy food, but when I have money I buy lots of junk food. But food is more important than junk food (end of last week was sooo hard because I didn't have money for chocolate. But! I do understand buying fish and chips ($2.70) when you don't have food AND do have $3.

チョコはとてもおいしいのでたくさんたべます　^^

2011-08-02T20:31:00.002+12:00

I bought my ex one of those super mario things and ever since, whenever I got to Countdown Bush inn I get one. I now have 3 and they weren't planned, they were all spontaneous. I hope I don't make a habit but i do hope I get a mushroom one too someday! (Lars got a mushroom and I think they're the best). I got a Yoshi egg today :D

Guess what? My friend was home and only there for 2 hours (she had just came back from the U.S) so... I DROVE to her house! And saw her :D .. she gave me a box of twinkies. They are yummy and taste a bit like golden syrup cake with cream. It was awesome seeing her. I had such a great day today. And ... I DROVE back home :D .. I hope I don't waste my money on petrol >.> but i loves driving. It's kinda good not having someone to tell me what I did wrong because I already can hear/feel it if I have. Like I dropped the clutch too soon getting into second gear and it was nice knowing I made that mistake without someone telling me. I still have to learn to not ride the clutch (bad habit, I do it in corners) but I used to stall so much learning to drive that i got used to riding the clutch. Now i have to test what does and doesn't need the clutch.

ドライブをします

2011-08-02T17:32:00.003+12:00

I drove today by myself for the first time! It was a bit scary to think about and when I first got on the road, it felt sooooo weird. So I went to Kosco and bought a car friend:

A totoro!!! (and I get asked why I have labels for the indicator. My car's European and when I was learning to drive my car was new. The indicator's on the left and it doesn't show which light you're indicating. I got told ages later that left is down because you spin the wheel down.. but i think if you turn the wheel right it's also down... so.... O_o;; oh well.. I should get rid of the label though). Anyway! And I put the radio on. And I bought the big packet of Pockey because it was $5.80 and looked cool. I thought it would have big pockey sticks but it didn't... it just had 8 pocket packets inside. Ok technically they're Pepero but same thing same thing :P

And I bought groceries and some warm thermalish clothes and it was really exciting! (I drove to Hornby because I haven't been to Dressmart in years and people talk about it). Yay! I spent more than I thought and am now behind on my budget T_T but still. I love driving. 私はドライブをするのが大好きです。

2011-08-01T16:55:00.002+12:00

I was so nervous in the test, I didn't think I drove properly. One street I was too wide and I thought my about-to-got-then-suddenly-stopping at a round about would have failed me too. And I drove 65K in an 80K area cuz I didn't feel comfortable. I kept thinking "Oh shit this is going terrible. Well, I'll resit it. Now i know what to expect" etc etc. But he gave me 92% :O I really thought he was going to fail me. I had my friend's husband in the back seat and he said I was fine. Eh... now the next step.. learning how to drive without someone beside me :S

But yay, the getting my restricted bit is over. Seriously it is hard getting people with time to sit in the car with me who have been on their full for 2 years

2011-07-31T17:55:00.003+12:00

"So. Over the July 4th weekend I decided to embark on a new craft-like project. I’d always thought it would be cool to paint a chapter of a book on a wall, but never actually followed through with the vision. Untillllll I decided to ask my mom if she trusted me enough to paint the wall in the stairwell leading to the basement and she said YES. I started drawing lines on July 4th and two weeks later, I had successfully painted the entire chapter of The Tale of the Three Brothers from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows on the wall, word for word. I completely guessed as to whether or not it would all fit, and miraculously it fit perfectly, all 20-something pages. I completely ruined my paintbrush and went through a lot more paint than I expected to. All in all, I’d say it was a success."

2011-07-30T22:10:00.002+12:00

Buffy Reminiscing

2011-07-30T22:05:00.004+12:00

2011-07-30T21:21:00.001+12:00

"I wish I wasn’t a girl who needed so much, but a little free creature that slept in deserts and ran on clouds and lived on lilies."

-Francesca Lia Block

"We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don’t have books, don’t fuck them."

-John Waters

2011-07-30T20:53:00.000+12:00

2011-07-30T18:42:00.001+12:00

"Nothing worth having in this world comes easy" - Kelso

2011-07-29T14:12:00.002+12:00

2011-07-29T13:57:00.000+12:00

If I fail my restricted I'll just start driving around without my L plates. It is really hard to find people to drive with

2011-07-29T13:30:00.003+12:00

昨日はWheel of Time - Eye of the World をよみ終えた。私は　Wheel of Time が大好きですね。とてもいいですよ。日本語はときどき難しいですが楽しいです。私はチョコは大好きですがウィンはきらいです。Wheel of Time をよむのが大好きですがTwilight をよむのがときどききらいでした。アルバイトがとてもきらいですよ。よるはアルバイトがあります　:(

Wow google translate is inaccurate:

Yesterday Wheel of Time - After reading the Eye of the World. I guess I love the Wheel of Time. It is very good. Japanese is fun but sometimes difficult. I love chocolate but hate will win. Sometimes hated to read the Twilight I love to read the Wheel of Time. I really hate that part. There are part-time job due

Correction:

Yesterday I finished reading Wheel of Time (though I haven't been taught how to write 終えた so that could be wrong) I really love Wheel of Time ai. It's very good. Japanese is sometimes very hard but fun. I love chocolate but hate wine. I loved reading Wheel of Time but sometimes hated reading Twilight. I hate work (part-time) very much. Tonight, I have work :(

2011-07-28T15:20:00.002+12:00

"Blood runs thicker than water" .... well...

2011-07-28T13:53:00.007+12:00

I remember Mum used to always tell me I was never what she wanted. I didn't dress the way she liked, I didn't look the way she wanted. I wasn't sweet or a robot. I wasn't going to be a doctor. I've never really done anything she's happy with. And she said if she didn't have me, her life would be so different. She'd be successful instead of a Mum. She told me I was an accident. I understand that she is insecure and that she feels robbed of her life, but that is not my problem. I didn't ask her to keep me and told her that every time she said that. I would go back in time and tell her just to get an abortion and make life simpler. If I never have kids I'll be fine with that. Everyone now wonders why the hell I'm not close to her because she's so lovely. Yeh, she is a nice person but no one gets that to ME she judges everything I do and say and think and am. And yeh, on facebook she leaves nice comments but to my face she complains how I got drunk or how I was with this guy or how I'm wearing something new and it's bad and being too this and that. I know she has settled down, we don't really fight when we see each other but that doesn't mean she has stopped telling me she doesn't like how I dress or what I'm doing or how I sit down etc etc. She's just stopped telling me I'm not allowed to see friends or watch TV etc etc and I do try to sit right and stuff because I usually know what she doesn’t like. Mum probably does loves me but she doesn’t actually like me and I’ve known this for a very long time. I just hate how people are all "oh, how to know that person is a good person is how they treat their family". So I'm bad because I'm not close to my parents? Mum AND my dad were always quick to say I was jealous of my brother. Well when I'm little and get a lot less than my brother how am I meant to feel? I didn't understand then. They still pay for him to go to Singapore but they stopped paying for me after I was 10. I had to save up for Australia myself when I was 17. They got my brother a wii for xmas and I’ve never gotten anything that costs that much. I think my brother needs this because of his head injury and I really do understand NOW. But they still look at me funny when they gave him a wii and me a borders voucher (my ex gave me a $50 one and theirs was less and I remember finding it amusing). If they look at me like that, or my mum gives me watches that don’t work, I’ve told them heaps of times not to bother getting me anything. If I want something I’ll get it myself… >.> I remember my dad giving me this awesome dragon book at some point btw :P he’s allowed to get me stuff if he wants :P ..anyway I just feel cornered/judged. I was talking to a friend and she's got a similar family but they're like 10 times worse. They used to make her pay board and used that money to buy her brother a computer. They recently disowned her and from what I've been hearing, her mum's pretty jealous of her. She gets people looking down on her because she pulls herself away from her family, and then thinks she's the problem and jumps right back in where her family say she is always doing things wrong. Things are not that black and white. Sometimes it's healthy to have the sense of self preservation. If I have my own family, I am determined to make it different from the one I had. My dad is quick tempered but I know he’s loving and has never told me he regrets me and he does try to help me out the best he can and I know that. But my parents have never really been home to me and that’s why I don’t see them as often as I should. They live in the same city but I see them like, once every 2-3 months. I know my situation is a lot better than heaps of people, but if you look down on me for not being more family orientated, your family life is a lot better than mine. In fact, if you judge anyone about their family, you have no idea how they feel. Don’t get me wrong, I care about my family. I remember telling my mum to be careful on this ramp because I nearly slipped and she was wearing wedges or high heels or something ridiculous. She said “I know Ceiridwen. I am your mother! You do not tell me what to do. I’m smarter” and then she slipped on the ramp. I first thought it was karma. Then she couldn’t breathe and broke her vertebrae and I felt sooooo sick and worried and felt like I wouldn’t know what to do and I was scared and I remember feeling that. I remember being on the bus and everyone being all fine but I wasn’t and teachers and dad told me she’ll be ok. Every person has their own reasons and their own situations. And.. I think this works with friendships too. If it’s hard to maintain, it’s good to have a sense of self preservation.

2011-07-27T23:47:00.001+12:00

I just remembered I lied again in the last post! I remember feeling happy to see the snow! When I get in a bad mood it's like I forget I can still be happy

Slipped

2011-07-27T22:18:00.014+12:00

I know it's probably a waste of money and a lot of psychics are scams.. but I think I'm going to see one. I don't fully believe in them but I don't disregard them completely either because who knows, maybe the universe does have some mystery up its sleeve. I just want reassurance that things will work out and that it's worth sticking it out. It's just at times like these I just get that sinking feeling that things won't work out and over time I'll get worse and worse and nothing i want will happen and then I will be in charge of when and how I die.

"Just think of what you have and be happy" ..yeh it doesn't quite work that way for everyone..

Maybe I should read Harry Potter >.> that was the last time I felt all bubbly inside and that things were fine

*looks at we heart it*

1 1/2 hours later...

I do remember reading this book and i had no idea how it got published.. >_<" and i feel the same way about Twilight (I would have edited a lot out of it and changed some scenes if i was her publisher.... hmmm.. I would have eventually condensed the series into one book and changed the ending and made the Bella/Edward relationship a lot less creepy)

Hey! I lied eariler :D .. I was happy when I read the Camelyn scene in WOT

Girl, Interrupted:

It's impossible to kill yourself by holding your breath. I can't imagine drowning >_<" same with hanging. I used to think that was the best way until someone said most people don't do it right and stay paralyzed for 1/2 an hour before they die and I think that's horrible. And my friend tried razorblades and survives and just has a huge reminder on her wrist and it makes me feel sick thinking about that... If you overdose on panadol and survive your stomach/liver will be fucked. If you jump off a building you could survive and become paralyzed. I always thought the best way is to try 3 things at once if you're super serious about it.

Anyway! Morbid I know

"Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or maybe life is... "

(More Girl, Interrupted).

If you can learn to be happy or content just live. Who knows, there are earthquakes, tsunamis, plane crashes etc etc :P anyway, find a dream. Successful people who were in situations where they were told their dreams weren't going to come true: J.K Rowling (got rejected by heaps of publishers and she was poor) Brad Pitt (got told he needed to go to acting lessons in an audition) Lady Gaga. Heck even Stephenie Meyer and I have no idea why the hell she's a best seller. I'm sure that there's some sport stars. Meg Cabot got told before she got published that her books weren't good enough.

Not that I want to be famous, I just want to be a good writer and travel the world and not have a dark cloud over my head.

Test test

2011-07-27T19:14:00.003+12:00

Went for a drive with a professional teacher and he pointed out all the things i do wrong! argh

* I don't stop before the white line at a stop sign

* I don't check all my mirrors after going into a new street

* I need to work on 3 point turns but my parallel parking is fine hahahahah O_o;; (it was a hard place cuz I had to do hill starts at the same time)

* I need to check all three mirrors not just the front before turning out

* If there's a bike lane I need to do a head check on the left side

* I have to completely brake and stop the car, not just leave it dawdling around in 1st gear for 3 seconds

* I'm not allowed to hesitate and then urge the person who is meant to give way to me to go

* I have to look at each road on the side or intersection even if I have the right of way

*sighs* thank god I had him!! If I fail I have to wait until I sort out my passport etc etc (which is going to leave me with no money for a while) then I can resit. So basically I'll be able to resit in a month or 2.. granted there's nothing wrong with my tyres or something >.>

In other news about tests, I did better in Japanese than last time.. well by a teeny tiny bit

Listening: 87% (same as last)

Oral: 93.7% (92% last time)

Written: 93.3% (92% last time)

Yay!

2011-07-26T19:00:00.000+12:00

2011-07-26T18:07:00.003+12:00

I had Noodle Canteen for tea and it was good ^^ ... I can't believe it's 3363kj!!! It's like the equivalent of a McDonald's meal. Oh well.. I could only eat half anyway. I'll eat the rest for lunch tomorrow ^^ it soooo good

Craving Noodle Canteen

2011-07-26T15:52:00.004+12:00

I'm craving noodle canteen atm. That's what i plan to eat for tea ^^ .. I think Keira Knightley is so beautiful (last pic)

Snow in Chch xD

2011-07-25T01:07:00.003+12:00

Miaad was up at 1am making the snowman :D

22/07/11

2011-07-23T23:23:00.005+12:00

*After hearing the news* I really don't like this year. I've heard Scandinavia is pretty peaceful so it's sad to hear. If that guy really did kill over 90 people... :O how can one person do it? What was his motive? How?? There would be someone else involved right? -__- and he's a home bred terrorist. I think maybe he was a sociopath with some really corrupt ideas on what he has to do. I don't know but it's mind boggling to think one person can kill so many teenagers. It makes me sad about the world.

On a different maybe more cheerful note.... I've decided, one day I'm going to make a gingerbread house!! :D It's now on my to do list *will probably do it years and years away*

2011-07-22T13:37:00.004+12:00

I talked to Atsushi (person I used to flat with who is Japanese) and you know how the Japanese have 3 different ways of saying "love"? According to him the tumblr blogs have it wrong because こいしてる (koishiteru) is actually puppy love, not "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" love. あいしてる (aishiteru) is the proper "I love you" and だいすき (daisuki) is "I like you"

2011-07-21T15:50:00.002+12:00

My new favourite necklace in the world... and it's mine now :D

I finally have the restricted thing all sorted. Now all I need is for my car to not die and to pass the test... and work on parallel parking because... I still can't parallel park...

2011-07-21T01:47:00.001+12:00

*finishes Durarara* Man it was good

2011-07-20T21:36:00.000+12:00

Kirsten Stewart plays a hot Joan Jett.

2011-07-20T14:12:00.001+12:00

Adrenalin Forest was so fun

2011-07-19T16:51:00.003+12:00

I only managed to do 5. I couldn't do the last one but my flatmate Miaad did the whole thing! Even the jump off with the rope to the spider net that put me off doing the 6th one. My arms feel used but I loved it!

Harry Potter spam

2011-07-18T22:54:00.006+12:00

Author of this knows they spelled "conceived" wrong in 3rd picture.

I saw the last movie and I just felt this love radiate out of me. I love Harry Potter! (not the boy just the whole story). And I do agree with the last picture. I didn't feel anything for Bella and Edward and couldn't care about their story (although.. >.> .. I love Alice..) but the Snape story so awwww *melt* ^^

For more Harry Potter facts click here

2011-07-18T13:05:00.004+12:00

Panaroma-ing again.

- Coke just taste better in a glass bottle

- The books I am going to read after "Wheel of Time 1"

- I just got that tunic (in picture) off a Japanese lady off Trademe. She gave me Japanese candy :D

- I'm seeing Harry Potter tonight :D :D :D
- I'm loving Durarara

- I drove yesterday and I do feel I'm getting used to my car. I've been told if i master driving that car I can drive any car (can be temperamental)

- Ummm... HP HP HP

- I'm only halfway through WOT but I still love it

- I saw Toy Story 3 for the first time last night with Emily and loved it

- HP HP HP.. I should re-read the whole series after the 30 books I have to read

2011-07-17T23:59:00.002+12:00

"Yeh, you just want to make sure you waste your time on someone who will waste their time on you as well" :)

2011-07-17T21:53:00.003+12:00

2011-07-16T23:11:00.002+12:00

Watching The Dive from Clausen's Pier.. well-not-seriously-because-it's-not-my-kind-of-movie-and-I-plan-to-watch-Trueblood-(still on season 3)-reaaal-soon-and-maybe-some-more-Durarara... But! It's got Dawn from Buffy and! Simon from Firefly! I haven't seen that guy in anything other than Firefly. Movie is kinda sad (Michelle's fiance becomes quadriplegic and she takes on NY and pretty much gets over the guy but he is a really good guy)

Looking at Tumblr sites.. man I can't wait for Monday >_<" (Harry Potter) horny for Harry Potter. Not the actual character but the movie.

I have 2 weeks left until I sit my restricted and I don't think I'm going to pass it. I think I'll just fail the first one and get more experience and then try again. But I have had 2 of my friends go "How's the driving going?" "I haven't driven in quite a few days so I think I'll fail" "Oh, I can take you driving, I've had my full for years" "Dude, I've been asking everyone! Where were you?"

It's like the time I asked everyone if they knew how to change a flat tyre. I asked my flatmates first! Then after I had it sorted with AA, my flatmate comes out and goes "What are are you doing?" "Changing a tyre" the AA man is there and everything and my flatmate goes "Oh, why didn't you ask me? I know how to change a tyre" "I asked EVERYONE! O_o;;" The AA man was like "Uh, why am I here then?" *sighs*

Durarara

2011-07-16T00:06:00.003+12:00

Lol it's so weird I love it

Selty and Shinra are with Shinra's dad, and after the dad finds out about them, he tells Celty to call him "Father" and keeps showing the paper (shown above). Then the dad accidentally admits to stealing Celty's head

"Fine, follow me, I'd like to show you something, whoosh"

*Celty and Shinra follow then Shinra's dad does a runner* hahaha

2011-07-15T14:42:00.003+12:00

Zoombinis!!! I miss this game! And Crash Team Racing :(

-__-" I've had a few conversations "So... if he was a player

why did it take a year to move on?" "Um... well, I didn't know he was one until after. I suspected but overall I thought he was genuine"

Don't fall for someone who isn't officially and openly yours and step out as soon as you have feelings and aren't with him no matter WHAT the situation. If he's into you he'll be yours. That's what I learnt and I see people fall into that trap and I warn them but I guess everyone has to learn on their own.

I wanna go to Universal Studios!!

Morbid Dream

2011-07-15T09:23:00.003+12:00

I had a morbid dream last night O_o;;

I was at my old High School going to class (for Japanese at Cpit. Yip my brain thinks Cpit isn't proper enough). So a hall is cordoned off and everyone around me is panicking and a few people were talking about dead bodies etc.

Then I looked at the hall as someone confirmed there were 20 heads handing from the ceiling of the hall and everyone has to go home now while they investigate.

The next day I came to class and the teacher had a speech about how to be safe (stay with people, don't ever be alone) and he talked about alarms telling people to go home whenever something bad has happened. A guy in my class said "A lot of the victims were 5 year old girls, but the janitor and a few other people our age were in there too". And the teacher used that as cold comfort that we weren't 5 year old girls (which is what the killer mainly went for). The alarms rang and I could see the teacher looking unease, unhappy and scared. I walked down with Helen, a classmate, but then I lost her and I was alone. I don't die but when I was trying to find Helen I just got really paranoid and thought, it's not the getting killed that scares me. It's the before because it would be way too traumatic. Some of the people that were in the hall got raped then stabbed then had their heads chopped off and I felt really sorry for the victims. I looked at people wondering which was the killer. The thing is, a lot of people are not psycho killers. It's only some people in this world. And you have to be unlucky to fall victim to a psycho killer. But how can you tell who is a killer and who isn't? I walked through L block and it was caged in for safety and had happy music playing. I think the school was trying to make students happy and not worry about being killed. It's true though, I think it was smart of them to try because I'd rather not think about being killed/worry about it until it happened and it probably wouldn't.

Right.... I think I should try to fix my bike and stop walking home alone at night >.>

2011-07-14T18:22:00.002+12:00

My attempt at a panorama (new top + mocha + scrapbook)

Dream

2011-07-14T11:31:00.003+12:00

I just woke up. So.. in my dream I illegally rode a motorbike on my learners and gave people lifts on it. I was paranoid about a cop catching me (in real life I've had a few lessons from people on their restricted). I went to my mum's church and gave my brother a ride home. He was talking about how he was sad and lonely (doesn't have friends because he doesn't have good social skills) I had no idea how to fix it. It's the same in real life. Ok... so then I was at Hornby mall. Carlwyn turned into Sophia. We went through a mall and there were two big elephants and people started screaming. The walls shook every time they walked. Then the elephants crushed people and stomped on buildings and me and Soph were running around trying to avoid being on a building that got crushed. It was a bit scary in case we went into the wrong building. We ran out and away and the elephants were where we had just been. There were cops and people trying to kill them. This lady was all "Argh! Don't kill them" but then there were heaps of people dying so... When I next looked the elephant was running around outside a big building on a spiral with a mob of people following and the building collapsing. THEN me and Soph ran to another place and I told her I'm going to make the best brownies I've tasted. I led her down a corridor and then another. Then I went into the brownies room and Soph pondered, "I wonder what ostrich egg tastes like" I said "I've tried it before in this room" it was a science lab with a tree. The teacher came in and said she had an ostrich egg spare and broke an egg and mixed it up. I took a lot and tried it and the teacher was all "You took too much! It only tastes good when you have it in small doses" .................. O_o;;

2011-07-14T00:49:00.002+12:00

American History X - urgh it makes me feel sick in some places >_<" but I'm glad I've watched it.

2011-07-13T17:48:00.000+12:00

2011-07-13T17:18:00.001+12:00

I wonder what it's like to be in a relationship without the foreboding feeling of it going to end.