Friday, 15 August 2014

Robin Williams

I was on facebook and saw the news (my status) 'No!!! No no no no! *gutted* damn. Goes to show that no matter how loved and talented, depression is not an easy battle to fight. I love his movies and his stand ups. I hope he has found his peace somehow : ( fark I wanted him to be dinosaur-aged, giggling away while making weird noises and happy with a drink beside him by the time he passed away. RIP Robin Williams.' 

I know he's a celebrity and I've never met him personally, but he was so lovable just the same. When he came to NZ, he donated the money he raised from the Christchurch show (during 'Weapons of Self-Destruction) to the Christchurch rebuild. 

And look: Robin and Koko

Like everyone else, I grew up with his movies. My dad kind of looks like Robin and would impersonate him too. 

He was honest, hilarious and had a big heart. 

150 Robin William jokes 


I kind of hate grouping mental illness with Robin Williams. But because of his death, the ignorance about mental health is insane. 
I got that a lot when I had depression, 'oh, just don't think the way you do' 'focus on the good' 'if you kill yourself, it's the most selfish thing you can do'. And I see it on tumblr and facebook now: 'just get over it' or 'he had everything, wtf?' Or 'he should have gotten help' 

I cannot find the source but here's a comic of what it's like explaining depression and anxiety to someone who has never had it .

I like this argument: Suicide and depression are not selfish

The thing is, well for me, you can't enjoy the things you used to and you don't feel like doing anything, not even turning on the TV. It's like having a cloud over your head and you feel like YOU'RE the one living in the real world because you see it for as it really is. And for many people, that reality is even more harsher, severe, and a lot more painful.
Anyway, all those ignorant people that think you can just think it away, they prove they do live in a different world as they're incapable of understanding what it's like in a world with depression. They think depressed means the same thing as depression. Which only proves that it is possible to live in this world without feeling constantly gloomy etc etc. 

 My ex is a happy person. I mean, he feels sad, which is natural. But overall he is quite a positive person, like, ridiculously positive. But because of it he feels happy pretty often and has this drive for life and he's very lively. He's never felt sad enough to think about suicide (it's mind blowing to me). In fact, he wants to live for a very long time. And I think it's because he has a healthy mind and esteem. He's someone I look up to. 

 So, if you have depression, you don't have to live like that because depression is a chemical imbalance and it's treatable. Sometimes it takes a few different counsellors and different types of medication. Keep changing them until something works, even just a little. Sometimes it'll work for a while, then won't, then try different things again. Or even if it's not depression but something is debilitating you, whether it's from eating properly or from being able to stop freaking out etc etc.. same message. Or even if you don't have depression but think about suicide, get help because it could get worse.   

But work on being honest to yourself and to your doctor.

And fuck the people that are against medication etc. It's better to be on medication and feel okay than to feel like dying or overwhelmed in general or that you shouldn't eat and so on. 

I haven't taken medication for years but I still worry about it coming back even though I'll be better prepared if it does happen again. But all I can say is that my life now is very different from a few years ago. 

Quote *again, can't find the source* :
"If you look at the fact that you have a roof over your head, food to eat, that you are young and beautiful and live in a peaceful land, then no, you have nothing to be sad about. But the fact is, we are not only a physical body, we have souls too, and sometimes our souls get sick. If you break a leg you don’t just say “I have no reason to have a broken leg” and ignore it; you seek help. It’s the same when your soul gets hurt. Don’t apologize for being sad."

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